To save a broken mind
by Eternal Fauna
Summary: Alec tries to kill himself now it's up to Magnus to save him, told in Alec's POV as well as Magnus's.
1. Chapter 1

Alec tries to kill himself now it's up to Magnus to save him, told in Alec's POV as well as Magnus's.

 **To save a broken mind**

(Alec's POV)

I have always been severely depressed, and for a while I had under control. Fighting demons, that helped, and after Clary entered the picture, my depression started up again, I tried to pretend it was fine, but when the greater demon appeared I took it as a chance to get up close and take everything pent up inside me out on the damn thing. That night I almost died. When I awoke my sister told me everything that had happened and as a result I went to Magnus, and the two of us started up a relationship.

When we first started dating everything was fine, I was fine. But then…Max died. I left his funeral early and locked myself in my room. If I had stayed with him and Izzy, he would still be alive, it's my fault he died. I should be the one that's dead, not him, he had his whole life ahead of him, my father doesn't even look at me anymore, doesn't even talk to me, my mother hasn't stopped crying since the funeral, and Izzy, she's a complete wreck. If I died, if I was dead, would it be better? Would they be able to move on? I reach for the dagger I keep in my dresser and look at it, I've hurt myself before, it was addicting, it made me feel better. I move the blade to my wrist and slash a vertical cut into it, good bye Magnus, bye mom, bye Izzy, I did an identical cut on the other and started to get dizzy, I had never lost this much blood before.

(Magnus's POV)

Max's death had shocked everyone, Isabelle couldn't stop balling, poor girl. Maryse had kept a straight face through out her son's funeral but I could see tears in her eyes. Robert looked indifferent, and Alec had left the funeral early. Even Jace looked close to tears, he held Clary tightly while she cried. Once everyone left, I went to look for Alec, if I'm correct all the Lightwoods should be in their manor. i knock on the door and it's Robert that answers. "Magnus Bane, what do you want?" the large man says gruffly. "I just came to check on the children, you know how funerals are on the young." I say and to my surprise he lets me in. I head up the stairs and saw Isabelle's door cracked open, with her and Clary sitting on the bed and Clary hugging Isabelle. I smile, I'm glad Isabelle has a friend to help her through this. I walk further down and spot Alec's room. I knock and frown, he always answers his door. I use my magic on the door and open it, rushing to Alec's side as he slid to the ground, his wrists were bleeding all over the place and he was extremely pale. I held him close and use magic to heal him. The cuts on his wrists heal slowly and his color is back to its normal color but while I'm analyzing his wrist I see pale old scars cut horizontally on each wrist. I looked at the bloody dagger next to him on the floor and snap it away before snapping away the bloody sheets and use my magic to get the pool of blood off the floor. By the time I'm done, he's awake.

Alec's POV

I open my eyes to find Magnus in the room with me, my wrists are completely healed and the dagger I had was gone. I look at Magnus who was frowning at me. "You tried to kill yourself." Magnus said softly. I look down waiting for him to break up with me. "Why?" Magnus asked. What can I tell him? That sometimes I feel death is easier than living? That I was born depressed and sometimes I can't help but take a knife to my skin and cut? Both sound like I'm insane and maybe I am. "I don't know why." I finally say. "While I was healing you, I saw old scars on your wrists; this isn't the first time you've hurt yourself, is it?" Magnus said looking hurt. I could feel tears well up inside me. I shake my head unable to get the words out. Magnus stood up and I know he's going to leave, but instead he pulls me up and hugs me tightly. After a couple of minutes he pulls away and looks at me. "I don't want to lose you, Alexander." He grabs my hands and pulls them up. "And I don't want you to do this anymore." he traces my old self-inflicted scars. "Come with me." he says and I can't help but quirk a brow. "We can travel the world, and maybe the traveling will get you to not think of your depression." Magnus said and I look at him with surprise. "How…?" I ask and he sighs. "I'm very old Alexander, I've seen the symptoms before. Now let's pack and leave for our travels." Magnus said with a smirk. I can't help but smile as well, not only did Magnus stay with me, but he thought of something to help me.

Wow, I have never written something that short, anyway, thoughts? Do you love it, or do you love it? Review and tell me what you thought!


	2. Chapter 2

After Alec and Magnus break up… Alec tries to kill himself again, this time though he doesn't have the warlock around to help him.

(Jace's POV)

Being a Parabatai means you feel what your partner does, and when Alec and Magnus broke up, Alec's heart wasn't the only thing that broke. The first week no one really bothered him, he had locked himself in his room and hadn't come out. Every time I was in my room, I could hear Alec, from the sound of broken glass, to the sound of banging, and even the sound of him crying.

When a week of this went by, I decided to check up on him. And when I knocked I got a calm, "Go away." so I did. That was a week ago, now we're at week two and Alec still hadn't left his room.

I knocked on his door and wait. "Leave me alone." Was the reply.

"Nope, not happening, now open up the door or I will break it down and drag you out." I yell and get ready, if I had to I was going to bust down the door. The door unlocks and I let myself in. based on what I had been hearing, the room is as destroyed as I thought.

"I see you broke your window." I observe noticing the large fist-shaped hole in his window. I see his blanket shift and I head toward it.

"Huh, I guess Alec's not hear, but look, his blanket is, I wonder if he would mind if I took it." I say loudly and pull the blanket up. Alec is as I thought underneath it and once I pull it away I see him turn his back quickly, his arms were underneath his pillow and his breathing was slow and heavy. I shook him and woke him up causing him to turn slightly to glare at me.

His appearance shocked me, his eyes were darker than they had ever been and he had dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken in as well.

"Go away." Alec said softly. He looked broken and seeing him like this made me feel heart broken as well.

"No, I don't think so." I say.

"Please, just leave me alone." Alec said turning away from me as tears formed in his eyes.

"Alec." was all I could say.

"I just, I don't want to live anymore, so please Jace, leave." He said and more tears fall from his eyes.

I stared at his pillow and frowned, I couldn't help but wonder what he was hiding from me.

"Show me your hands." I say sternly. Alec doesn't budge. I reached for his pillow and grab his arms away, holding them. He squirmed as I stared at his wrists, each one was bleeding and had horizontal cuts on them.

"Stand up." I ordered not letting go of his hands. Alec glared at me but stood.

"What did you use to make these marks?" I asked pointing at his wrists. Alec said nothing but looked away staring at the wall next to him. I grip his hand and move to his bed feeling underneath his pillow, it was sticky with blood, I ignored the blood and found a knife buried deep with in his pillow case. I toss it to the other side of the room and look at him.

"Until I know you won't harm yourself, I'm going to have you stay with me in my room, now get some clothes together." I said feeling drained.

Alec sighs but goes to his closet and grabs some shirts and pants and his gear and follows me to my room.

(Alec's POV)

Jace found out that I hurt myself, and now I'm being watched like an animal or crazed man. I haven't said anything since he found out and I don't even know why I told him I wanted to kill myself.

But now here I am washing myself in his shower with him sitting on the toilet making sure I didn't do anything. After my shower I had to change in front of him and then get dragged down the stairs to eat, even though I'm not hungry, I'm never hungry anymore.

"I'm shocked Jace, I didn't think you could actually get him out of his room." Isabelle said with a smile as she served what I could only guess was stew.

"Yeah, and I'm keeping him out of his room, until he's back to normal." Jace said patting me on the shoulder before eating his own stew. I frown and look at the bowl in front of me, if Jace didn't want me dead he wouldn't let me eat this crap.

"Oh right, Jace. Jordon called and asked that you call him back." Isabelle said while looking worriedly at me. Does everyone know what I was about to do?

"Oh right, I was supposed to meet with him, uh but what am I supposed to do with you?" Jace asked looking at me. I frown, he could always leave me in my room by myself and never bother me again.

"I'll stay with him!" Isabelle volunteered quickly. Wait, does she really know what's going on? Jace looked unsure. "And we'll meet you at the park later." She added with a smile.

I love my sister, I really do, but she makes me want to punch her some times. Jace nodded and waved good bye to us both before running out the door. I peeked over at Isabelle to see how well she was paying attention and head back to my room, I'll listen to Jace, but my little sister? I am not going to let her boss me around.

"Where are you going?" Isabelle asked standing next to me.

"Uh, to my room?" I said causing her to frown.

"Nice try. You and I are going to go out, we're going to watch Jace meditate with Jordon, and then we're going to talk." She said sternly and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the front door and tossing the one pair of sneakers I own at me and waited for me to put them on.

Wait, why am I obeying her? I'm older, if anything I should be bossing her around. I looked toward her and remember why I listen to her, even with her age, she still reminds me of my mom, and still scares me to disobey.

"Why do you want to watch Jace?" I asked once my shoes were on and tied.

"I could care less about his meditating, I'm mostly doing this to get you out of the house, let's face it Alec; you're a wreck, you don't eat, you barely sleep, you're hurting yourself which is hurting me and everyone else around you." Isabelle said softly.

I blinked. "Have you been watching Dr. Phil or something?" I asked.

"I'm serious Alec! Now come on, I'm not letting you out of my sight no matter what." Isabelle said grabbing my hand and dragging me outside.

I don't know how to explain it, but I feel a little better, it still hurts knowing Magnus and I might not ever get back together, but the thought of having people that care about me enough to keep a constant watch over me, it makes me feel good.

Though I won't admit that I feel this way, which I guess proves Izzy's point that I am a wreck, a wreck that has people that love him, even if they don't say it.

Done! Chapter two people! Yay! Review and I may continue!


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